Lets Debate It

Issue of the Day: Insecurities

2008-09-04T19:36:00.000-07:00

All right, today I want to talk about insecurities. Why are we insecure?

I see a general trend amongst my friends. Most people are insecure about their looks. They're not insecure about their athletic ability, writing ability, music ability, or any other talent. Nearly everyone is insecure in how they look—the one thing you can't really change, aside from general hygiene and a haircut. So, why the hell give a damn about it. You're stuck with it. What difference is it going to make if you're apprehensive about it or not. Does anyone think that by being insecure about it is going to help any...no!

Is it helping you find that special someone by inhibiting your own confidence? Or, are you waiting for that special someone to complete you? If that’s what you think then you’re sadly mistaken. Are you waiting for some future date—after you've amassed loads of crap, or have become successful—believing that you’ll be secure then. What if that future date never comes or, by then, it’s too late?

You have all you need right now.

So I say, here I am, like it or not. I was born looking this way and I'll probably die looking this way, with a few wrinkles and some gray hair.

I may be wrong right here—so please disagree if you do—but I blame most of the problems associated with insecurities on the media and the perfect self-image they try to portray. Does anyone know why they do that; why media and advertising portray that perfect image? This shouldn’t be a difficult one to answer. So they can get your money from you. So women will go out and buy that overpriced makeup to cover their—beautiful—natural face. So men can continue to buy Rogaine, and other needless products.

We chase these ideals, believing, hoping that they will be the answer to all of our problems. If I had that blouse, he’ll surly want to approach me. If I had some more hair, I could get that cute 21 yr. old blonde. Yes, I’m being melodramatic. We spend our money on crap to make us feel more secure. When, really, it’s only a cover for the symptom.

If the media didn’t portray these ideals people wouldn’t be chasing after anything. People wouldn’t have anything to compare themselves to. And, people, in general, sure as Hell wouldn’t be as insecure as they are today.

I’ll agree that having those products might make you more attractive but they will not eliminate your insecurities—the essence of lack of confidence.

Wasting your money on that crap isn't going to help with any of your insecurities until you realize you're just fine the way you were born.

It’s not going to matter how many times someone tells you how handsome, beautiful, attractive you are, or how good of writer you are. You just won’t believe it! Until you start to believe these things to be true in yourself. But the question is how…

Peace In

Issue of the Day: Same Sex Marrige

2008-09-04T18:28:00.000-07:00

For the last week or so the blogosphere of MySpace has had a surge of posts trying to bring back our relationship with the divine.

Now, my friends know that I'm not a religious person but that I do believe in some sort of higher power. This is partially due to some unanswered questions that I have. Riddle me this: something had to start the Big Bang and, life had to begin somewhere.

I was looking through some of the blogs related to Religion and Philosophy today to see what issues people find most important, and I must say: if that's what we find important, then we're all screwed.

To illustrate the point I'm trying to make here, I'm going quote one of the more popular blogs.

Note: I don't believe this person is against same sex marriage, the author is just posing a question, and these are just my opinions.

"With recent events in California and previously in Massachusetts one can't help but to think of Sodom and Gomorrah. Before you say "bible fairytale", let's not forget about the Romans and the Greeks. Both empires fell right about the time when homosexuality was accepted as a normal way of life. So could it be that we are witnessing signs of the times and the recent legalizing of gay marriage in California is the beginning of the fall of America?" - Is the fall of the United States near?

I live in California. I know of the destruction that has taken place in my own backyard—it's not a situation I take lightly. However, just yesterday, a friend of mine and I made a crack about how all of these fires may be the sign of the Apocalypse. But to say that this is occurring because of California's decision to allow same sex marriage—well, that's a leap of faith isn't it?

I'll play devil's advocate for a moment. Yes, CA is burning in Hell right now just because of that decision. God is thoroughly, and utterly, pissed off at CA. How, on God's green earth, could two people of the same sex, who love each other, be allowed to marry one another. Not in God's name. Since people voted for that un-godly decision, He's going to burn the whole damn state to the ground. Never mind all of the straight people he kills in the process. But God doesn't care about the innocent people. No, he's so blind with anger right now, he doesn't care who he hurts. Let that be a lesson to all of the other states that might be thinking same sex marriage is appropriate.

OK, now let's think this through logically. Even though God started that thunderstorm, let's forget CA for a moment and focus on the issue at hand: same sex marriage. Why are people so against it? Do they take pride in controlling, and judging, others? Are you God; give me a break. And, please don't bring up the sacredness of marriage. There's nothing sacred about being married for a few years and getting divorced. There's nothing sacred about marrying someone so that they can get a pass to stay in the U.S. Note: I'm not against that. There's nothing sacred about getting marriage for the kids sake; not against that one either. You want to know what's sacred: the desire to spend the rest of your life with someone else. Not for financial reasons; not for political reasons; and not for the welfare of the children (you'll probably get divorced when they're old enough); but for the simple reason that the two of them have the desire to spend the rest of their lives together, because they actually love each other. Would God stand in the way of love? I'll bet the anti-Christ would.

Peace In

Bridging the Gap (Between Believers and Non-Believers)

2008-09-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

There has been much debate between: Believers vs. Non-Believers in the existence of God. I am not trying to force either side and I’m not sure why either side tries to do so. What I’d like to do is focus on the similarities between the two groups, rather than the differences.

I tend to believe, that the belief in God and the belief in Evolution can coexist—that they are not mutually exclusive. I believe in both.

As we grow from baby to adult, we go through a series of both physical and psychological changes. We learn to adapt to our environment; acquire and use new strengths and abilities afforded through experiences—we evolve through our lifetime. Denying evolution would be to deny our progress as individuals—as the human race—stunting our own growth and our own potential.

I’ll even go as far to say that it’s possible that we evolved from other forms of life; which is to say that we’re no different than other animals. The belief in evolution, however, does not disprove the existence of God.

As for God, it’s not something that can be taught, or told, to someone. It cannot be proven with facts or data. It has to be experienced first hand, much like any other intimate lesson, including: addiction, love, compassion, and even hate—among other things. It’s not a fact…it’s a feeling.

Given that I hold both of the above to be true; I also hold that we are no different than other animals. That they are just as connected with God as we choose to be.
The similarity that lies with both believers and non-believers is this: faith.

Believers have a faith based on a feeling—based on their own experiences. Since it is based on experience, everyone has their own concept of what God is. Consequently, I don’t believe that there exists any one person—any believer—that is wrong in their description.

Non-believers have faith also. A faith based in logical reasoning and assumptions—assumptions that could very well be false. If you believe in the Big Bang theory: that is faith. If you believe in abiogenesis (spontaneous life): that is faith. While they are based on rationale, it is still faith because these theories have yet to be proven. Until it is, there is not much difference between believers and non-believers—in my humble opinion.

I don’t want to get too much into the controversial aspects of this subject but I’d like to point out that Science is not much different than Religion. Both are attempts to explain the world we live in, and both rely on certain assumptions. In fact, if you study Quantum Physics, you’ll find that the two are becoming closer to merging than you might expect.

They are two different approaches that, I believe, will someday lead to the same answer. It may, however, require that we combine logical reasoning with intuition and feeling.

Peace In

Thinking of Suicide (Short Story)

2008-09-04T18:12:00.000-07:00

Lane, a young man in his mid-to-late teens, was startled as he heard the crackle of the door swing open. No one was supposed to be home for hours, as he was an only child and both of his parents worked long hours and were rarely ever around. At least, he never actually saw them when they were. Really, he had hoped not to see anyone - ever again.

Jason was standing in the doorway, staring at Lane as he sat motionless on the couch. “What are you doing Lane?” His voice was low with a concerned tone.

Without thinking, Lane responded quickly, “What the fuck does it look like?”

Jason, not really knowing exactly what to say, “I don’t know, man. It looks like…”

“Would you just get the fuck outta here?” Lane snapped, as he clenched a PM-9 pistol in his hand. Lane, for the first time, was seeing things clearly. Nothing really mattered anymore: not his life, not his family—nothing. “Just leave!”

Jason could hear Lane’s voice tremble, as if he was on the verge of tears. “You know I can’t leave you like this,” he said, trying to stay calm. The two of them had been friends for years. They grew up in the same neighborhood, attended the same school and—for the most part—were inseparable. Jason slowly walked into the house and began to shut the door behind him.

“What? Do you want to watch me?” Lane raised the pistol slightly.

“No, man…I don’t,” he was forceful but empathetic, “but I’m not leaving you here either.” After softly shutting the door, Jason walked cautiously toward the couch, caddy corner to Lane, and sat down, leaning forward slightly with his hands clasped. For a few moments, the two of them sat in silence. Jason’s mind was racing…searching for something to say… something… anything. “Is that your dad’s?” It wasn’t really a question, as Jason had seen that gun before.

Lane merely nodded. Ever since they were small boys, he had always trusted Jason. He had told him all of his fears, troubles, and worries. Jason was really the only one Lane could ever open up to. His presence had always comforted Lane to some degree. After a few more moments passed, “You really want to know?”

“Only if you want to tell me.” Of course, Jason wanted to know, he wanted to help if possible, but he’d learned not to push Lane; especially in this delicate position.

Following a brief pause, Lane opened up, “I’m gay.”

Jason was surprised, to say the least, but this didn’t change his disposition. “Is that all man? Is that the reason for this?”

“Dude, you don’t understand,” he was exasperated, “the people around here… they don’t give a shit about gay people. If the people at school knew… if they knew that I was like this… Fuck man!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. By now his eyes were welling.

“Who gives a shit what other people think? I’d kick their fucking ass if they tried to screw with you.” Jason tried to reason, “You know I would.”

“Yeah, I know,” there was a momentary pause as Lane was organizing his thoughts, “but you’ve seen that guy; that guy that says God hate’s fags and that the world would be a better place without people like me.”

“Who? Fred Phelps? Dude, that guy is a fucking hypocrite. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about… he can’t speak for God.”

Lane began contemplating. His voice was a bit calmer, “Yeah, but what if he’s right? What if God really does hate people like me?” Lane—born into a Christian heritage—had been raised from an early age to subscribe to the concepts of sin. His mother had placed particular emphasis on Hell, and judgment, in her attempts to lead him in a noble direction. While Lane knew that his mother wholeheartedly believed in everything she tried to instill in her son, he always had his doubts about certain things. “What if I do go to hell for this?”

“I really don’t know man… I wish I did.” Jason, on the other hand, was a self proclaimed agnostic. He believed that there was a possibility of some higher power but had yet to be firmly swayed in either direction. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know… I know the bible has some references to it.”

“Yeah, like what?” Jason had never actually taken the time to read the bible but he was a bit curious to see what it had to say.

Lane reached over to a coffee table that sat between the two couches and grabbed a book he had been looking through moments earlier. He had already memorized specific pages containing passages that had been giving him, what felt like, ulcers. He began flipping through the discolored pages. “Like this one,” his voice was shaky as he stumbled through the passage, “fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, effeminate and homosexuals shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”

Jason had a slight spasm of a smile. “You know I don’t mean to be a jack ass here…but can I say something?”

“Yeah, I’d like to hear what you think.”

“Based on that passage alone, your mom is going to Hell for two reasons. One being that idols part…”

“You mean idolaters?”

“Yeah, that part. You know how much your mom looks at herself in the mirror…she’s probably her own biggest idol.”

Lane smiled at that.

“And the second part; do you know what effeminate means?” Jason asked.

“No… not exactly.”

“It means to have woman qualities.” Jason tried to reason again, “I don’t know man, but based on that alone it seems like more than half of the people around here these days would be sent straight to Hell—all the women and anyone who looks up to someone else. And you know me… I would rather go to Hell with all the bitches if that’s where they’re going.”

Lane chuckled a bit, “yeah, you would! Maybe you’re right,” Lane tried to agree.

“The way I see it… and I may not be right on this but… that book was written a long time ago for people that lived in that time frame. I think that if you’re not out there actively trying to hurt people, then I honestly don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“What about the homosexual part?” Lane inquired.

“I don’t know man… maybe back then there were incidents of men taking advantage of young boys… I really don’t know to be honest…” Jason paused for a second, “but you do know, that if any of this stuff is true, that you’ll just be going to Hell a lot quicker by going through with this.”

“I know… I know… I really do. I don’t know if I could actually go through with it. I was just thinking about it.” Lane explained.

By now, Jason could tell that Lane was feeling better. “Well, are you done thinking about it yet, because Jane is down at the school watching some people play basketball. I figured that we could go down there, and I could whoop some ass and impress her with my skillz. Maybe you’ll rub up on some sweaty guys too,” Jason said jokingly.

“Shut the fuck up.” Lane put the book back on the coffee table and got up to place the gun back where he’d found it. “Hey, could you not tell anyone about this?”

“Dude… it’s not my place to do that. You know I won’t.” He said, as was getting up off the couch. “Hurry up. Let’s get the hell outta here.”

What I want to say is that none of us truly know what God thinks on this subject. And, also, that such morality—when forced upon others—could drive an incident, as described in this story, to occur.

Peace In